Valentine’s Day is a date many people look forward to but also many dread that day. It’s either to celebrate your loved one; or a painful reminder that we don’t currently have that someone special to spend the night with. Some people are perfectly ok with it, some try to distract themselves. Valentine’s Day has been heavily celebrated across the world. It starts in schools, where we gift cards and chocolates to those we fancy or like. The marketing for gifts, cards and flowers goes beyond Valentine’s Day. But is it all about that? Well, not really…

Love for all…

(Sponsored content in collaboration with Boots.com)

I didn’t know where to start this post. I have mixed feelings. At first, it was hard to describe love. In my post from 2017 I talked about love a bit more in a positive way, and this year, I look at love differently. Completely differently.

Last year, my whole world collapsed. I’ll skip here describing what has happened as it’s not about that. My friends and family helped me pick up the pieces of myself and put them back together. My gratitude towards them is beyond. Being single, I have completely changed as a person and my views on the world, love and friendship have changed 360 degrees. 

When I was a teenager one of the poems we read in school was by Maria-Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska, a Polish writer.

I haven’t seen you for a month.

And nothing. I may be a bit paler, 

a little more sleepy, a little more silent.

But apparently, you can live without air.

I couldn’t understand that for many years, what has an air to do with not seeing someone for a month? I understood the true meaning of this poem when I was alone after a breakup. The Air was him. He was my air, I was living and breathing for him. He was the whole world to me. However, as much as I was gasping for that air at the beginning, I learned to live without him. It sounds a bit silly, but those few words written on paper have made me realise that we don’t need that air to live. 

I look at love differently now…

After a year, now while on my healing journey, I started appreciating the world and the people in it differently. I learned that love isn’t just about our partner, but love for people around us, ourselves and our pets can be stronger than anything. 

Love for All, love is for yourself. 

We all heard the words ‘we need to love ourselves first’. Self-love isn’t about being vain, but being able to put ourselves first. It’s to prioritise our needs, well-being and our health. Valentine’s Day gifts are also about You. In my previous post, how to enjoy valentines day on your own, I talked about self-care. Taking nice long baths with bath salts, putting that face mask on and being able to relax and rewind. But self-love is also about your health and diet. Prioritise exercise and good food. As much as we want to eat tonnes of chocolate and binge on Netflix, it’s all ok, but balance it with healthy food and fresh air walks the next day. 

 

 

In my most depressing moments, I would often lock myself in the bedroom, switch off my phone and cuddle my cats. As much as my brain would tell me this wasn’t right, this was my self-care. It took me a while to understand that we take self-care differently and it’s ok to do what you do as long as we balance it. Taking a nice hot shower, changing bed sheets and getting into new pjs is also self-care. Switching your phone off and not letting social media disturb you, it’s also self-care. Our true friends will understand that we all need time for ourselves and it’s ok. Remember, that if you feel that the world is overwhelming you, reach out to your GP. 

During my self-care days, I like to pick a diary and write a few notes, fill my planner and write my gratitude. It helps to see the world differently and appreciate what I have. I put on comfy loungewear, spray myself with a lovely scent, put some calming music on and just enjoy being at home. I’m grateful that I have a warm home and that I can just cuddle up on the sofa. Sometimes, I put makeup on at home too. I like to feel pretty and look after myself. 

During my therapy, I remember telling my therapist that I felt guilty that instead of buying clothes to go out I buy yet another loungewear and a set for the duvet. She asked me ‘’Does that make you happy though”? I didn’t think of it that way, and the answer was yes, I loved that. Fighting depression the past year was really difficult but slowly getting out of it has made me realise that I have so much to look forward to and I’m beyond proud of myself that I have never given up. Despite having the lowest moments of my life (days without a shower or brushing my teeth) and as embarrassing as it sounds, it was an illness that I needed help with. And I’m glad I have received help for it. So today, I’m proud of myself. I’m grateful and kinder to myself. I can truly say; I’m content, independent and happy. 

So, this Valentine’s Day, gift yourself. Buy yourself a nice perfume, a gratitude diary and put that makeup on. Prioritise yourself. Be your partner and best friend. 

Love for All, love is for my friends. 

One thing I’m also super grateful for this year is having the most supportive and wonderful friends that I could have wished for. They have filled the empty hole in my heart with love and support. With laughs and with cries. All these long night conversations, stolen face-time moments, long essay messages and talking on several social media accounts. These quick coffee breaks and getting ready for the party just then end up being too drunk so we stay in. These middle nights drives and tequila nights and PJ parties. My friends are amazing, they are weird, they are funny, they are awesome, they are on top of the world and sometimes on the bottom.  We are there for each other, no matter the time of day. I can’t even express in words the love I have for them. They also deserve to be celebrated so here are a few gifts for friends.

I love the fact that my friendships include both genders. Having my Galentine’s we can chit-chat all boys’ stuff, send each other weird memes and laugh at things only we understand. My girlfriends deserve the best. So this year, think of your female friends, check Valentine’s gifts for her and celebrate your friendships. After all, they are unpaid therapists and life coaches ;). I would highly recommend this Soap and Glory gift set for any girl. Packed with wonderful bits to unwind but also think that this  Mac duo lip set would make your friend shine at any party. Also, girls love perfumes right? My favourite is this Dior perfume, every girl loves Dior. 

Also, I can’t forget my male friends too. I love their perspective on things in life, their stubbornness and the fact that they keep me grounded. The laughs we have cannot be replaced and the memes are out of this world. Don’t forget to buy Valentine’s gifts for Him too. Don’t feel weird about it. Get them a funny card to go along with it and go for a nice dinner and make jokes about all the love birds around. (Maybe don’t bet on their divorce too loud as they can overhear it )- did that once and it was embarrassing. For him, I would recommend this Hugo Boss perfume (smells divine!) and you can also enjoy it 🙂 but also grab him this FujiFilm Instax so you can make memories together.

Love for All, including my cats.

Yes, my cats. I spend 89% of my life with them. They are my rock, my support, my therapy and my everyday laughs. They are my kids, just more hairy. If anyone else dares to say anything, they will be blocked.

Last year, I lost my Mia after a battle with cancer. She was with me for 9 years. She fought so hard. After 4 months of driving back and forth to Bristol every week without fail for her chemo, she was officially in clinical remission (which means cancer free!) We were overwhelmed with happiness. But Mia also fought diabetes and one day her little body couldn’t handle it anymore and we had to say goodbye. Losing her was the most horrible thing in the world. If you ever heard the expression that the heart can ache- I have truly felt that. My heart was aching, truly aching. I couldn’t catch a breath and it was hurting badly. But I know she had a wonderful 9 years, I know she is pain-free now and I’m grateful that I had the chance to spend these years with her. 

My other cat, Maru, who is the size of a dog but a teddy bear at heart, is the kindest and softest cat in this world. He can be grumpy sometimes but has not a single mean bone in his not-so-little white furry body. I know that Maru was missing Mia so much, so it took him a while to accept his new sister, Myla. But a few weeks on together and he is getting used to her and gives her cuddles and grooms her when I don’t watch ;). 

My love this year is for them. To my cats, I would gift them anything in this world. 

Love for all. Love for my family

Love for my family is beyond any love of course. My mum is my hero, and my sister is a mini me- including the attitude. My mum and I are best friends. There is no such  subject I would not speak to her about. She deserves the world, so does my sister. I’m very close to my stepfather too. They were also my absolute rock when I needed them. Of course, you can gift family too! Marc Jacobs Daisy would be the perfect gift for a sister, and match that with the Giorgio Armani Code for a brother. Mums deserve gifts not only for Mother’s Day but also, for Valentine’s Day. This Olay gift set would help your mum’s skin shine and look fresh every day. For dads (including stepdads), Paco Rabanne would be perfect. They all deserve to be celebrated, regardless of the time of the year. 

 

Celebrating love on Valentine’s day, it’s not just for love-struck teenagers or reserved for people in couples. Love on Valentine’s is to celebrate who we love. We should always remember, love is for all. For those who passed away, for our families, for our friends, our pets. For everyone around us.  Love isn’t just for the insignificant ones and Galentines (read: 2 single girls rocking and celebrating themselves which is also very cool) but Valentine’s gifts should be celebrated for everyone around us.